yo

Wow, long time no post. Sorry about that...been really busy.

So anywho, school's finished and half of my friends have graduated. One of my sister's has moved to Michigan. Basically, I'm all alone next year.

This summer I've been busy as all heck. Three days a week of volunteer work, the other four days are chores and running around. Plus, studying for next year. And avoiding people I hate.

Welp, that's pretty much it. bye-bye

~~siyo~~

Spring Break

Yay it's finally here!!!!!!!!!!! Ha ha, and my birthday's over it. Yes! Now just to convince my dad to approve a sleep over.... lol. What have you guys got planned?

And we're into the last quarter of school. I should be happy right? But instead I'm dreading it. End of the year means I have to say goodbye to loved ones who are leaving. T^T

Speaking of loved ones....my school is so stupid! My group of friends got dragged into the dean's office and searched for something they didn't do. My brother got ISS, my friends Ashley and Cassie got suspended til the 19th, and anyone with colored pens got them taken away. And none of them did what was accused. Does the school care? Nope. Argh!!!!!! >_<

Wow

This month has been really weird. You remember my ex, right? Welp, he not only cheated on me but is now goin out with someone, hitting on one of his other ex's little sisters, and trying to seduce my sister. It's really disgusting. Oh, and he thinks that he owns me still and that he can get back with me when ever he wants. That is seriously annoying.

You know that friend of mine I had weird feelings for? Well, I figured out what they were and now we're going out. I'm still not entirely sure how that happened but ok. I'm happy. ^ ^

Oh, I got to see an ultra-sound of my future niece/nephew (too early to tell). I can't wait until it's born!!

The sad news, my brother was in a car accident this morning. He's not hurt bad but his car has offically died. He was rear ended and smashed into the walls of the freeway. Thankfully he's ok. I wonder how he always ends up with the bad luck.

Ummm, my sister broke up with her boyfriend a week or so ago. I'm angry at him. Now all the people there hate her. Grrr....if I was there they wouldn't be acting this way. Sadly she's happy about it, she likes being alone. But it's still aggravating.

My other sister signed up for a job interview for coldstone. Turned out it was a sining audition. Haha!!! I would have paid money to see her do that...too bad she didn't go. It would have been halirous! Great news though, SHE'S GETTING A CELL PHONE THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol, finally!

Welp, I think that's it for now....guess I'll check back in later. See ya!

Wow....a fun Monday, whoda thought?

I honestly never thought I'd ever say I had a fun Monday. Ever. But I guess I twas wrong. I had a great day! I got to play wall-ball with my "brother" and my "sister". Lots of fun ^ ^ Cept when they all turned on me and tickled me to death...that was torture. Lol. And my ex seems to want to be friends so I've avoided a war! Woohoo!!! Plus I got my good luck back -> at lunch my ID and bus card fell outta the holder thing and when I went back they weren't there. But when I went into security to see if they had them, there they were. That almost NEVER happens. I was so happy. Now I just gotta find out who turned them in so I can thank them for the rest of my life. ^ ^

Weird part of my day, I have weird feelings for one of my best friends. He's liked me since we met last year. But I never returned his feelings. But this year we've hung out alot more and I've started getting weird feelings around him and I don't know what to do about them.

Strange Days

Welp the last 2-3 days have really thrown me for a loop. First my ex actually stops me to talk. Then my friend tells me he did "it" recently, almost getting his girlfriend pregnant, she broke up with him. Lastly my sister tells me she has a boyfriend.

The first one surprised me and ticked me off. I had gotten comfortable with igoring each other. The second one...welp let's just say he learned a lesson. And the third one...I'm shocked. I know that sound's really bad, but it's not meant that way. I'm glad she has a boyfriend. I'm glad this one is someone she sees everyday. What I'm shocked about is 2 days ago she had been asking me what to do cuz she wasn't sure about him. The next day I get an e-mail saying he's her boyfriend!

(Side note -just to get it outta my system- one of my "brothers", Jin, has been pretty down and angry lately. I've tried asking him but he always evades answering. I want to help, it's killing me to see him all grrr, but I don't know how. My other "brother", Kyle, well...we used to always talk but now he's back with his girlfriend. I really wanna talk to him, ask him for help, but I can't bring myself to drag him away from her. And my best guy friend, Dillon, is also my ex's best friend. So it's unbelievebly hard to talk to him with my ex always around. So I basically feel like I'm losing the 3 guys I care about most. -outside of my family that is- Worse yet is I'll have to say good-bye to Jin and Kyle in May cuz they're graduating. And I don't think I can say good-bye...)

Not a clue

I have no idea what to write about, but I feel bad for not coming on as much. Ummm, let's see...nothing new has really happened. Ahhh my school had Costa Rician exchange students this week. They came to speak to my history class today. The two that came, Victor and Louis, were hella cute! I felt kinda bad for em though....they had to stand in front of 30 kids and try to speak English. Let's just say my classmates aren't exactly helpful. ^^;;

Umm, that's bout it for now, guess I'll look for something interesting to tell you all about. Lol, see ya.

rant

why do you guys never tell me anything anymore? did you consider that going to do something and telling me 30 minutes before you do it hurts me? well it does. i especially liked it when neither you nor gayle told me, but tracy did. thats messed up, considering you were with me all day and could have mentioned it. but you didn't. i also hate the fact that you don't tell me whats going on in the family anymore. like telling me that Kat was pregnant. did you or gayle say anything about it to me, no. but shanie did. i'm willing to bet you wouldn't have told me about the vegas trip until a couple days before if i hadn't found out. these are just the ones i've got off the top of my head. instead you choose to leave me in the dark, just like mom did. that hurts dad, real bad. did you ever think that doing this influences what i do, cuz i don't think you did. did you know that i hardly ever let my gaurd down anymore? i don't, except when i see tori once a week. i didn't ever tell you that cuz i'm terrified that you won't let me go see her anymore. i'm not breaking any of your rules either, i don't go anywhere with her, i just talk. i don't let myself hope anymore either. did you ever wonder why i'm always in my room? it's cuz every time i try to hang out with you guys, you talk about things i don't understand and i feel awkward and left out. then you get mad at me for sitting quietly thinking i'm using an attitude, or you critisize/put me down. i don't see anything good in that so i just remove myself from it and hang out in my room. i want my old daddy back, the fun one, the one that listened to me. have you noticed that we don't really do anything fun together anymore? its all work and chores. ever think that maybe instead of giving me chores when i say i'm bored you could do something fun? no that doesn't mean spending money all the time. there are things called boardgames and movies. hell arts and crafts even! i used to tell you things, almost everything. but now i don't. i don't even tell gayle anything anymore. everytime i do you just tell me off or something. maybe i just want to vent, want you to listen so i can get it off my chest. instead i keep things from you. i hold everything in until something triggers a meltdown. do you know of anything going on at school? i'd bet money that you don't. know the sad part, my sister, shanie and peanut, poppy, tori, tori's mom, and lizzie do, but you and gayle don't. aren't i supposed to be able to tell you anything? but i hesitate cuz i'm scared you'll yell or get mad or punish me or something. you didn't used to do that, you used to listen or try to help. you used to include me in things. you used to keep me in the loop. what happened to that? i want that daddy back. i want my friend back. i don't want a drill sargent or a warden. i don't want to get yelled at cuz i'm late getting home when you don't even know why. i don't want to feel like dirt cuz i got a B. i want my dad back.