Strange Days

Welp the last 2-3 days have really thrown me for a loop. First my ex actually stops me to talk. Then my friend tells me he did "it" recently, almost getting his girlfriend pregnant, she broke up with him. Lastly my sister tells me she has a boyfriend.

The first one surprised me and ticked me off. I had gotten comfortable with igoring each other. The second one...welp let's just say he learned a lesson. And the third one...I'm shocked. I know that sound's really bad, but it's not meant that way. I'm glad she has a boyfriend. I'm glad this one is someone she sees everyday. What I'm shocked about is 2 days ago she had been asking me what to do cuz she wasn't sure about him. The next day I get an e-mail saying he's her boyfriend!

(Side note -just to get it outta my system- one of my "brothers", Jin, has been pretty down and angry lately. I've tried asking him but he always evades answering. I want to help, it's killing me to see him all grrr, but I don't know how. My other "brother", Kyle, well...we used to always talk but now he's back with his girlfriend. I really wanna talk to him, ask him for help, but I can't bring myself to drag him away from her. And my best guy friend, Dillon, is also my ex's best friend. So it's unbelievebly hard to talk to him with my ex always around. So I basically feel like I'm losing the 3 guys I care about most. -outside of my family that is- Worse yet is I'll have to say good-bye to Jin and Kyle in May cuz they're graduating. And I don't think I can say good-bye...)

Not a clue

I have no idea what to write about, but I feel bad for not coming on as much. Ummm, let's see...nothing new has really happened. Ahhh my school had Costa Rician exchange students this week. They came to speak to my history class today. The two that came, Victor and Louis, were hella cute! I felt kinda bad for em though....they had to stand in front of 30 kids and try to speak English. Let's just say my classmates aren't exactly helpful. ^^;;

Umm, that's bout it for now, guess I'll look for something interesting to tell you all about. Lol, see ya.

rant

why do you guys never tell me anything anymore? did you consider that going to do something and telling me 30 minutes before you do it hurts me? well it does. i especially liked it when neither you nor gayle told me, but tracy did. thats messed up, considering you were with me all day and could have mentioned it. but you didn't. i also hate the fact that you don't tell me whats going on in the family anymore. like telling me that Kat was pregnant. did you or gayle say anything about it to me, no. but shanie did. i'm willing to bet you wouldn't have told me about the vegas trip until a couple days before if i hadn't found out. these are just the ones i've got off the top of my head. instead you choose to leave me in the dark, just like mom did. that hurts dad, real bad. did you ever think that doing this influences what i do, cuz i don't think you did. did you know that i hardly ever let my gaurd down anymore? i don't, except when i see tori once a week. i didn't ever tell you that cuz i'm terrified that you won't let me go see her anymore. i'm not breaking any of your rules either, i don't go anywhere with her, i just talk. i don't let myself hope anymore either. did you ever wonder why i'm always in my room? it's cuz every time i try to hang out with you guys, you talk about things i don't understand and i feel awkward and left out. then you get mad at me for sitting quietly thinking i'm using an attitude, or you critisize/put me down. i don't see anything good in that so i just remove myself from it and hang out in my room. i want my old daddy back, the fun one, the one that listened to me. have you noticed that we don't really do anything fun together anymore? its all work and chores. ever think that maybe instead of giving me chores when i say i'm bored you could do something fun? no that doesn't mean spending money all the time. there are things called boardgames and movies. hell arts and crafts even! i used to tell you things, almost everything. but now i don't. i don't even tell gayle anything anymore. everytime i do you just tell me off or something. maybe i just want to vent, want you to listen so i can get it off my chest. instead i keep things from you. i hold everything in until something triggers a meltdown. do you know of anything going on at school? i'd bet money that you don't. know the sad part, my sister, shanie and peanut, poppy, tori, tori's mom, and lizzie do, but you and gayle don't. aren't i supposed to be able to tell you anything? but i hesitate cuz i'm scared you'll yell or get mad or punish me or something. you didn't used to do that, you used to listen or try to help. you used to include me in things. you used to keep me in the loop. what happened to that? i want that daddy back. i want my friend back. i don't want a drill sargent or a warden. i don't want to get yelled at cuz i'm late getting home when you don't even know why. i don't want to feel like dirt cuz i got a B. i want my dad back.

Sorry,

I've been a bit busy and not in the greatest of moods lately. (Not that that's an excuss, but still it's better than me bitching at every single thing that happened.) Anyways, my ex is still being an ass, but he has toned it down a bit. (THANK YOU GOD!!!!) I am now very sad, the reality that this year is almost over has hit me. Don't get me wrong, I love summer break but the end of this year means saying good-bye to 2 of my "brothers" and my sister, and possibly one of my other good friends. I do not want to part with them, 3 of them are the only reason I'm remotely sane. Plus, it means I'm gonna be all by myself next year. TT.TT (not a happy thought)

There is some good news, I'm gonna be an aunt in september! My oldest brother's girlfriend is pregnant. ^ ^ YAY!!!

School's back.....great

School started up again on the 5th. Let me tell you, I was dreading going back. I just had one of those feelings. And I was so right. See, I had been fighting with my boyfriend (he started acting in a way I didn't care for at all) and Monday, he broke up with me. Which I was perfectly fine with cuz I was gonna do that this week anyways. He said he wanted to stay friends, ok I'm cool with that, but he ignores me and is a jerk and is starting a bunch on crap that is truly uncalled for. So this week I'm getting to deal with his crap on top of my normal school stuff. I think I hit a bad luck streak or something.

Anywho, Krys_Tobias, I'm soooo sorry about your friends. (one being your boyfriend if I remember right) I really hope that their condition gets better before Friday. =[